I went on vacation and now it's the New Year.

Well hello, two thousand and eleven!!11!1!!1one!!1!

I'm taking a break from punching at my gut to wish you all, my readership of two, a Happy New Year. Do not be fooled by the excitement in my above punctuation. I'm actually gnawing at my sunburned skin, writhing in pain and reeking of nail polish and menstrual cramps.


But I don't believe in modern-day medicine, only suffering in silence, if by "suffering in silence" I mean "yelling it on the internet". Ah, 2011, I do not believe you have seen the last of my being obnoxious.

Only hours ago, I came back from the Gold Coast - darker, fatter and poorer. And while I did start to recount a few tales and misadventures, I figure it's a post for tomorrow.

More appropriate would be reflecting on the past year, and saluting the notable occurrences with bullet points...!

* My gramps going through several surgeries, recovering well and being back to his smiley, round-bellied self

* Scoring a job with Apple (there, I said it...!) and within six-weeks, "graduating" to a new team with a different playing field, and finding that I love my co-players and the workload even through times of stress

* Graduating from University... and officially saying goodbye to essay papers started horrifically close to deadline

* Turning twenty one and welcoming adulthood into my open arms and (poisoned) liver, in the company of some of the most important people in my life. Did I also mention popping my cherry on alcohol-induced barfing?

* Getting busted by a speed camera and receiving my first speeding ticket - and although this is not so much a highlight as it is a shameful exercise in stupidity, I guess it serves as a cautionary tale on the ramifications of trying to knock out children with wheels in a 25 metre space... Okay bad joke, but really, I'll call it a learning curve and draw the highlight as it being my last speeding ticket as well. (Wishful thinking?)

* Falling in love with Salsa, not the type that tastes delicious with guacamole and melted cheese on a bed of corn chips, but the type that looks delicious on the dance floor, being led by some suave gentleman... and being able to progress my way to level three within a span of two weeks

and probably the most significant:
* Not wasting as much of my downtime googling dead baby jokes and reading my horoscopes as I did last year

So yes, farewell two thousand and ten. You were relatively kind to me, like a rhinoceros is relatively kind to the pavement (when there are people to step on!) during a stampede.

I am still sans-boyfriend and sans-child. Will two thousand and eleven change this? Stay tuned... Just kidding, Dad. About which bit, however, I will not reveal ;)