the imbalance of circumstance.

i feel weightless, but i feel restrained.
circumstance is full of ironies right now, but in time everything will unravel.

i'll tell you then.


mental health day

i stayed home today & did absolutely nothing productive, bar the laundry (which i didn't even fold. ho ho ho).

i don't recall the last time i had absolutely no commitments - uni, work, social or otherwise - & had an actual day for myself. & I TOTALLY CELEBRATED IT IN STYLE, running amok the way snakes might, had they some legs, & getting the creative juices pump-pump-pumping the way i do at the servo station... oh yeahhhhh.

with a new youtube video comes the plethora of unused footage, & i decided to take screenshots that are testament to how attractive my expressions actually are. with no further ado, this is nikki - redefining poise:

anyway, it's been an eventful week. i meant to blog after hilary's twenteenth on the weekend, but as senility often hits the young, supple adult, i don't remember all the profound things i would have spilled, so images of the beautiful hil will have to suffice. (she's glowinggg) :

also, i keep receiving assorted foodstuffs from the male variety while at work. i guess my physique makes no secret of what is important to me in this lifetime (FOOOOODZZZ). thank you suitors, past present & future. i am easily bribed by food (as you already know), empty promises to neverland, thumbtacks, & terrible car smells!

would just like to take a moment to say i am grateful for many things, clumsiness being the most unexpected source of thanks. this one's for you, rare stranger.

good night chiklets.


the above was the very first picture of myself on my new canon 1000D. am totally breaking it in, self-indulgent style!

anyway, the smallest creature of my family turned fourteen & had a small celebration of sorts. i was the appointed pho-ho-to-ma-tographer for the night. MY FAVOURITE SNAPS ARE AS FOLLOWS:

i really really really like the next one of ze mama & za papa. it's the classiest they've ever been:

& this is what happens when you let small children maneuver the camera. chopped limbs & the like!

anyway, i'm out of here (here being e-space) like diarrhea from a queasy gut!

hey, to the stranger who brought me a mango at work, thanks. 'twas an unexpected & refreshing present, much like when the school bully only punches out four of your teeth instead of the six he originally threatened to. refreshing, i say!

you will be jealous.

this is what nikki & min get up to when left to own devices, behind closed doors.
ze sexual tension is undeniable.

people & providence?

this picture will have some relevance in a few paragraphs time.

but for now, some thoughts:
human interaction is much like walking through a revolving door.
most of the time, we get through okay. sometimes, the glass hits you straight in the face.

today, entailed one of these casualties.

so, at work, the lunch rush ensues & four hundred twelve different conversations are zipping past my head. i'm at the coffee-machine when ** asks if i can make coffee for her customer too. 'that's fine' i say, 'please just take care of the rest of this man's order'. twenty-six hours later, i'm still frothing milk & sprinkling sweeteners (because everyone decides to have their caffeine fix then & there like it's going out of fashion) & customer man is still waiting for the rest of his order, impatience growing on the tips of his nose & cheeks. in the midst of making everyone else's mocha-choca-latte-ya-ya, he asks me (nay, sternly asks me) to get the rest of his order. stress is not nice colours on me, & my haste & exasperation (at ** for failing to help this man out) were perceived by man. he got defensive, & for lack of a better term, i got a verbal lesson from him about attitude.

i wasn't angry at him, but at her. but in this instant i became angry at the world the way hercules was angry at hades when the large-ass pillars collapsed on meg (walt disney version, of course). i may or may not have been rude & dismissive back?

time elapsed, as it often does, & tempers simmered. i saw the man approaching again, & immediately as he got to the counter, i wore my sincerest face & told him i was sorry for earlier. i explained that my annoyance was not directed at him, but rather a bad case of antsyness at the growing mob & exasperation at **. he smiled, offered his own apologies & all was well in the world. this is the part where the door keeps spinning & you run with it like the five year old amazed with centrifugal motion.

this post is about people & the odd ways people waltz in to your life.

those of you ample readership (of maybe 2) in australia would know of thirsty merc, the band. now, on my youtube front page is a video called "emancipate myself" by said band... i don't quite know how to narrate this story creatively, so i'll skip the frills & get on to the bit where matt baker, original guitarist of band, writes me a message on youtube.

the sequence of events leading up to the message is as follows:
matt has an upcoming audition for a pink floyd tribute show. matt decides to prowl youtube for pink floyd videos. matt needs to lean over the computer & fiddle with something technical or other. matt's elbow accidentally nudges a button, which causes the mouse hovering over my face to load up. matt watches video of strange girl possibly with a mixed sense of curiosity & disgust (am banking on 98% disgust). matt considers writing to girl to let her know of how odd she is, but decides against it because writing to strange girls on the internet is (a) something he never does, (b) unorthodox, & (c) probably worthy of capital punishment. matt clicks on strange girl's front page instead, & low & behold, there he is rocking out in the small screen on autoplay, on the front of her page. matt did the right thing by the stars & messaged the strange girl.

anyway, there is talk of some musical union & (small-time) gigs, but i am unbearably excited. EXCITED, I SAY.

now here i am posing haughtily with a rare thirsty merc 3-track album. matthew is second from left.

hot damn!
only one final work left to hand in, & i can shove this semester straight up all of your collective behinds. SUMMER, come on down! my intentions for this summer are entirely creative: musicmusicmusic, videos & photography.

on a note of finality,
nikki is a proud new owner of a canon 1000d digital-slr! BIG FAT HOOZAH FOR AMATEUR PHOTOGRAPHY :D