australium idle.

queen-bee braved her supreme lack of sleep & the cold & my insanity, & we loitered around for the australian idol auditions. several times during the day, my desire to urinate & my desire to see james & andrew entertaining in the waiting hall overrode my desire to make it past the first audition round, ahaha.

i am an australian idol rejecttttt.

but in all honesty, there is a reason for the existence of passion, in as much as there is a reason for rejection. i've still got lots to learn, higher pitches to reach, & more presence to attain. however, while making it on 'australian idol' is a definite acknowledgment of your potential & an achievement to envy, it's not the only acknowledgment the winds will offer.

"What you still need to know is this: before a dream is realized, the Soul of the World tests everything that was learned along the way. It does this not because it is evil, but so that we can, in addition to realizing our dreams, master the lessons we’ve learned as we’ve moved toward that dream."
~ The Alchemist, Paolo Coelho

i left my desire to make it in the mainstream world back with my thirteen year old jeans, which i've since unbuttoned & frayed. definitely, i've still got a lot of roads to walk, but i know i've got an avenue with it's own charmingly dimmed lights & nostalgic smell.

the overnight loss of anonymity is still a thought that scares me more than sharp teeth & jagged edges. with that comes the emergence of fickle fans & people who judge you on face value & oh god i can't have that, with a face like mine.

on the topic of face value & such, here is a picture with andrew g. of channel ten / channel v fame, who is actually infinitely more articulate in his own space than tv (& my bad judgement) give him credit for:

i was unfortunate & did not get a picture with james matheson. boo hiss.

aaand my obligatory two minute 'australian idol' video:


  1. who's the crazy lady jumping around with a guitar on the street? hah hah, just jokes..stop crying.

    loss of anonymity is a concern. you could just cross over to North America and nobody would give an ish, hah hah...cuz you know N. American radio rejects all that aren't currently from U.S. or Canada unless they're British, Irish, or the first sign of the apocalypse...

    It's 1:26 am. I'm offensive at this hour

    3 down...haven't decided how many more to go..what do I mean? later

  2. Hello!

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  3. Nice one Nikki. I was also a reject around 2 years ago at the Philippine Idol auditions. I got past the producer's auditions but when it was the actual judges already, I completely and utterly phailed. But it was fun fun fun.

  4. This is your uncle btw. ;)

  5. bah! they rejected you? i've been a fan of your music for a while now, and it's surprising that you didn't get to go to the next round. oh well. you have lots of loyal fans on youtube, of which i am one. love your unconventional yet utterly awesome videos. bye!

  6. Do you have an Austrailian accent or not?!
    This is baffeling. If thats how you spell it...

  7. well, speaking as someone who worked behind the scenes of Canadian Idol for years...

    just remember that it is first and foremost a reality show. there are so many random factors, really the fact you didn't even make the first round of auditions just shows the flaws in the process. but it wouldn't be the first time.

  8. I'm just relieved that your 3 desires (to urinate, to see James, to make the 2nd round) did not coalesce (or is that carthasisize?). These are 3 things, whose timing should not be entangled or entwined.