i put a wig on you when you were sleeping & i just lay there & spooned you

The current state of my existence - a thorough exploration in bullet points:

* Tinned tuna and crackers have become a constant in my life. Their relative cheapness and easiness to pack with other necessary items for uni outweigh the obvious downside of smelling like a poor man's concubine for the rest of the day. It should also be noted that tuna and crackers are devious little f*ckers because they trick me into feeling good about my calorie-controlled lunch consumption, only to have me then put McDonald's out of business because I am a) immediately starving, and b) viciously obsessed with eating. And thus the whole "doing my body good" thing is grievously nulled.

* I have undertaken one of the most arduous character building exercises ever. Yes, it's akin to volunteering at retirement homes to wipe bottoms, and even more painful than watching Beyonce for longer than anyone should have to. (Sorry Kanye) For a large part of this week, I've put my self-consciousness on suspension... and worn glasses. In public. TO THINK I HAVE HAD PHYSICAL INTERACTION LOOKING LIKE A FOUR-EYED-BEAST!!1!!1!

* Have spent more than sufficient time in the uni film suite this past week to be at liberty to call it my (volatile) lover. He's made me laugh and made me (want to) cry! He's encouraged my creativity and pushed me to exhaustion! He's been at the forefront of my mind and been a needy, attention-craving little maniac. Like I said, a volatile lover. Just a preview of what I've been working on:

* Clean underwear has also decided to become a myth, or gremlins have decided to raid my underwear drawer and present the findings to their leaders. I have been wearing bathing suit bottoms. Yesterday, while walking back to my car from the supermarket, I felt a sensation that can be acutely described as 'falling underwear'. One side of my bikini strings came undone and I ended up walking the rest of the way back holding dearly onto my bottom, as if I were rescuing turd from premature departure. 

* Hannah asked me to do a speech at her upcoming 21st. I am ecstatically flattered at being picked amongst her HUGE list of loves to share a few words and anecdotes, as well as violently mortified about my dull droning's ability to inflict sleepiness upon her guests. She is beautiful and charming and the baby spinach to my cous-cous, and damnit, this speech better amazing.

* My feet smell terrible.

* And my beautiful Min turned 20 last week, so naturally we put our livers through some character building of their own. Cue necessary pic-spam:

WELL HEY, it is currently 12:30am Friday. I have a halloween party tonight, to which I STILL have no costume. JOY!


  1. Nothing wrong with glasses. I think they make people look a lot more sophisticated! ^_^

    Also, lack of underpants can only be attributed to one thing: the underpants gnomes! XD


  2. I was singing the song that provided your title just minutes before seeing this blog. Nikki, you got it going o-on.

    Wearing bathing suit bottoms for too long is unhealthy! They don't allow your body to breathe. You're better off rocking it natural.

    Also, you're adorable with glasses and I love you.

  3. I like Tuna. I was just eating a Tuna sub at Subway a few nights ago. I like my Tuna preferably cooked or put into a sandwich. I just can't do crackers unless it's with soup.

    I'm also a proud, lifelong four-eyed beast. My glasses have picked these past few weeks to suddenly fall apart physically. So right now I'm a tape sporting, four-eyed monster. Picked out a really nice, semi-rimless pair of Ralph Lauren's for my new pair. Glasses suit me ummm methinks.

    Good luck with the B'day speech. Happy B'lated B'day to Min. I must B'yoncify this B'utiful Nightmare of a post for you. It's interesting that the original post is to the left, to the left. Don't be a naughty girl or you might end up with a baby boy. I always get p'wn in Halo, Halo, Haaaaaaaaaalooooo!!!!!!! It makes me sad :-P


  4. Here i thought you were already wearing your costume...