the usual lack of sense.
Apparently it is nearing two weeks since my last blog post, for which I owe an incredibly large thank-you. You are all darlings; I am absolutely appreciative & overwhelmed by your generosity in the comments. I feel like a bald man narrowly escaping root-canal! Like a sticky-date pudding devoured by Natalie Portman herself! Simply put, I am chuffed. Thank you.
Now, I have a few things to get off my chest, much like one might like to get a car off her chest in the event of being pinned under one after a collision. Without further delay, here are some scintillating dot points:
* I don't quite know how else to put this, but I may or may not be a little bit partial to bestiality. My first recollection of lusting after an animal was upon watching Remus Lupin's werewolf form in Harry Potter 3 (it was the werewolf-biceps & muscular hind-legs, I swear).
I dismissed this as an erratic, newly-pubescent fancy. Nearing the finality of adolescence, however, I don't think I can claim my insatiable lust for Wolverine on those same terms.
Whatever the case though, I don't think I'm very discriminant of prospective life partners. I am the freaking McDonalds of equal opportunity!
* I SAW KATE MILLER-HEIDKE LIVE & IF I HAD IT MY WAY, I'D USE HER LIKE I DO SHAMPOO - rinse, lather & repeat! I'm incapable of doing anything else other than gushing when epic songwriting meets phenomenal stage presence meets precise delivery meets effortless operock. (Yes, I absolutely made that awkward term up right now.) Also at one point, husband & guitarist - Keir snapped a crowd shot for her twitter. Um. I may not have trampled a few babies & elbowed a few undeserving pelvises to make myself immortalised in her digital camera.
* I am sore in the places that count. I managed to exercise six out of seven days in the past week. I'm talking cycling class, pump class, combat class, jogs, core-strengtheners & weights, you mudcrabs! However, I also managed to null & void all my hearty efforts in yesterday's (& today's) Marsbar-cheesecake & White+Dark chocolate mousse rampage. DELICIOUUUUUS. Have I mentioned I'm hopeless? Add to that, predictable. I binge on terrible things & invariably feel an overwhelming sense of guilt & the need to e-complain about how the scales are being stubborn. I am the best vicious-cycle evaaar!
* I have finally reached a plateau in my life that combines an unparalleled sense of achievement with some simultaneous directional clarity. All from this comment:
There IS light at the end of my proverbial tunnel of eternal celibacy! If I work really hard on toning down my unsuccessful wit and obnoxious charm, generous men on the internet are willing to overlook the rest of my flaws for my own personal gratification! Karma is obviously kind to me; I didn't realise life could be so fulfilling!
* I had about four more dot-points to throw in your general direction, but luck is on your side, dear readers. This entry terminates prematurely! Now.
Posted in: achievement, babyporridge, bestiality, exercise, fitness, hugh jackman, kate miller-heidke, nikki malvar, picturepost, wolverine on Sunday, May 3, 2009 at at 5:58 PM
Lusting after Wolverine, you're not attracted to his animal like ferociousness. You just realize that you absolutely love Canadians, and yes I'd be willing to offer myself up for ritualistic sacrifice, hah hah. I'd do a lot of things for you if given the opportunity Nikki :-D
Lusting for Lupin...David Thewlis is powerful with his presence, you just can't stop looking. This was a bad thing in The Island of Dr. Moreau but a decidedly wonderful thing in the Director's Cut of Kingdom of Heaven. I couldn't take more than 10 minutes of the theatrical but the Director's Cut is a work of wonder.
Kate Miller-Heidke sounds like a Beer to me. Why you ask (Miller - Duh?) and Heidke sounds suspiciously like Heineken.
I keep on saying this anywhere I can but you're getting a sequel this year, similar but with hopefully higher quality visuals, to last year's B-day visual fest.
while on the subject of Natalie Portman, check this out
go to funnyordie.com and look for between two ferns with Zach Galifianakis and look for his interview with Natalie Portman and her dog Whiz. It's absurd and absolutely funny.
later Nikki
I love the way you write, it's amazing.
You have such a vicious cycle of exercise and eating, I guess eating leads to guilt which results to exercise which makes you hungry and so you eat: crazy, never ending cylce.
And ouch at the youtube comment.Mean!
it's not so bad to eat desserts when you are working out. gaining muscles mean you can burn more calories and your metabolism becomes faster so you would definitely need to eat frequently.
Nothing is more flattering than the timeless charm of a "I'd totally fuck you if you were stupid" comment. As much as comments like that concern me, something much more important has my attention.
It seems to me like you're trying to out do me with made up words! I thought it was established that I was the supreme ruler on all that is pretend and made up. I mean, made up words is the only means I have of competing with your blogs! I make people think that I know what I'm talking about and dazzle them with my lack of knowledge of the English language! NOW here you are coming up with words like operock! What am I supposed to do now Nikki!?!
I can't just come up with new pronouncifications of words! It's a very taxing process on my cerebelus portasmus!
I mean, I nearly had an aneurysm just coming up with profounded!
Canadian...Check
Hairy Body...Check
Move like an animal...Check
Devouring another heaping serving of Nikki...Priceless
For everything else, there's mastercard.
just checkin my TV schillin skills
I'm impressed with the amount of exercise. Disheartened by the increased digestion of awesome tasting, horribly bad for you food.
p.s. I danced for 14 hours the last 3 days and had the best cafe made tiramisu at a Jovanotti on Norton st in Lichhardt.. which defeated the exercise part of dancing. Thankfully its not just all about the exercise!
That is possibly the freakiest cruch in the world, though wolverine is understandable...HE is HOT!!
To the running to the front of the crowd...I can relate, Given the chance I would happily do this and more at a She & Him concert.
Bestiality, huh? Well as long as you leave the house elfs alone, I guess it's all a-ok :)
You're such a training maching... jeez. If I trained that much, my clothes wouldn't fit me anymore :-/ But to get to the point:
I'd do you if you weren't so female.
(See, 2 compliments in 1 - hidden behind actually rebuffing you. Yes, I am that good.) <3
To each their own. I once became sexually aroused by a house and a cake.
I'm fairly certain that people who propose to have sex via YouTube comments are pretty much helpless anyway and should probably lower their standards.
Line of the week: I am the freaking McDonalds of equal opportunity!
OH MY GOD. You saw Kate Miller Heidke! She is awesome. One of my friend-of-a-friends met her once. He didn't make the best impression. She wrote a not-so-nice blog about him on Myspace. Oh, lol.
(I agree with ElizaWriter. Lol!)